Quotes of the Week: 9/25/05 - 10/1/05

"Why don't you go back to your office... I'll have a pair of my pants delivered... You can try to get into them on your own time"
Heather Locklear
as Kelly Nolan
on "Boston Legal"

"Yeah, she's a bitch.. but she's family.. so she's our bitch"
Sean Pyfrom
as Andrew Van De Kamp
on "Desperate Housewives"

“People act like it was the worst crime in the world. It was a mistake, you know!” Tara said in an interview for the November issue of FHM... But you would think my boob had popped out and shot Gandhi!"
Tara Reid
via Tara Reid's Deadly Implants [Defamer]

"I have to say that I think maybe they did her a favor, and maybe she'll actually get help. Coffee's one thing, but coke is another. It's not something you want to really have as a problem in your life."
Jennifer Love Hewett
on Kate Moss
via Hewitt: 'H&M Bosses Have Done Moss a Favor' [Hollywood.com]
{EDITOR'S NOTE: Miss Hewett apparently believes that total career annhialation is actually a positive thing for our beloved Cocaine Kate. Why the hell would C-list starlet who's movie credits include such cinematic masterpieces as "I Know What You Did Last Summer" and "Can't Hardly Wait" be permitted to comment on an issue such as this? And worse, why the hell would anyone publish said comment? Its like asking Kate Moss herself to write an op-ed piece on poverty and race issues in the United States.}

"Ok, I just called to tell you that I can never leave my house again. And I HATE KELLY CLARKSON. DAMN HER!!"
[Redacted]

"So I open up my fortune cookie after lunch, and it says 'Oops... Wrong Cookie!'. How fucked up is that?"
[Redacted]